so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
