he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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