apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
