So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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