It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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