I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I need to align my fucking chakras
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
