Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
