Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is not my ceiling
it wasn't lemon gatorade
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You made out with two different species that night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
