would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
