I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
