ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
