What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
