I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
