i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
