the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
