I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
