my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
