My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
