I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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