Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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