I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
