You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
