I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
