I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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