Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
