We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
