you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
