you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
