Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
