Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This is the high leading the old right now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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