So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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