Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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