Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
