So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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