dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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