Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
