just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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