He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
