dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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