its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
