i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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