sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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