Its about making memories worth repressing
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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