We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
