Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
