We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
