Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
