well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
