I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I am naked and annoyed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
