can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
