Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
